By Orion Burns
Click here to see content warnings
Cw from author: Warning for internalized homophobia stemming from religious trauma.
The instant flint whips against steel
replays in the dip of every blood cell—
the loop of its scrape sings in my veins
at only a single ringing laugh from her.
Squash down your flesh
embrace Christ’s book as your match
to shine from the center of your chest. If you don’t
You are darkness, you are darkness, you are darkness.
I chase the curve of her curls with my finger
and tug to tease a smile from her lips.
I haven’t kissed her yet,
I want her cheekbone on my mouth.
Convert to the Rosaria Butterfield doctrine,
engrave “ex-gay” on your bones, present God your teeth
and recite your daily verse “man shall not lie with man, if you do
You are selfish, you are selfish, you are selfish.”
I sprawl with her on downy bed linen
and we draft constellations in the peppered
popcorn ceiling and she whispers soft stories,
and flicks the flint of her fingertips on my steel-steeped palm and I
Hate the sin
sink teeth into it, thrash it around like a rabid
coyote; Love the sinners though
because our God is love, loving God is your strength.
You are—
But with her I’m—
—weak,
With her I am—
You are weak,
With her I feel—
You are weak.
With her I feel God.
Orion Burns (they/them) is a queer Arkansan poet and artist. They are an MFA student at the University of Central Arkansas and spend most of their time consulting a conspiracy board filled with their thesis project’s poems. Through their poetry, they explore the contradiction of an identity they were raised into versus an identity they’ve discovered for themselves. This is their first publication and they are very excited to be included in this zine.
The Q&A Queerzine 