By Holly Archibald
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singular use of the d slur
i envy those around when language was born
plucked from a hyacinth bed and nursed
on good intention simple sounds raised as nomads
drifting between expression phrase sentence
untainted and unblessed patchworked
into families muttered with haphazard delicacy
beating out the melody of an alphabet undiscovered
i envy those who spoke
sunk their teeth to a word’s core and felt its heart
beat faster—before i was tasked with surviving
a dictionary of othering nailed to my body sewn
into my soul—before new nicknames new notions
were birthed hollow and hot air balloon lungs dragged
connotations we dread in from the cold
i envy those who breathed
sacred beauty of cosmos and starlight deep
inside the curve of letters their sounds
and listened with a careless intent—before
along came the spewing of venom wrapped
inside syllables so pure so easily harnessed
they carried corrupted intention into Troy
i envy those who loved
before i could be branded Dyke
by the inherited knife, slickened taught
to strip humanness from flesh—
before snarled were the slurs i now wish
to carve into my bones so my excavated
grave can tell my story
Holly Archibald is a lesbian actor and poet based in Glasgow, Scotland. Her written work primarily focuses on lesbian womanhood, feminism, working-class culture, and open spirituality. Holly has most recently been published by Cerasus Magazine and in upcoming issues of Impossible Archetype, Lavender Review, and Grist. You can find more about Holly and her work on her instagram @h0llyarchibald.
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